{"id":109,"date":"2020-10-14T14:31:18","date_gmt":"2020-10-14T13:31:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/?p=109"},"modified":"2020-12-09T11:05:07","modified_gmt":"2020-12-09T11:05:07","slug":"hell-on-earth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/hell-on-earth\/","title":{"rendered":"Hell on earth."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

27th February, St Georges, University of London, Tooting, England.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m definitely not 100% today<\/h6>\n\n\n\n

\u200bEverything was going so well<\/a>. Then, life comes at you fast.\u00a0 In today\u2019s episode of little Johnny\u2019s cock cancer journey I start the week on Tuesday. It’s not a bank holiday, I’m just making the best of the conditions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But today, I also have the chills, and I have the sweats so I’m in bed whilst my temperature goes between 38 and 41.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think I\u2019ve got stomach flu<\/a>, but Prof wants me to come in anyway. Even though I feel like shit, but I\u2019m glad I did.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the next few hours, I develop a crimson skirt around my thighs, and I discover that I have cellulitis. The doctors think I probably have sepsis too, I was beginning to think my legs were getting a bit hot….<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“I’m sorry you’re not flying first class, but this is the safest plane”<\/h6>\n\n\n\n

I’m really seriously ill, and can’t stop vomiting. The head of urology, and the professor take the decision to admit me as an emergency.  So here I am, at an enormous hospital in South London.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not travelling your usual first class Mr little, but you are on the safest plane\u201d.  Nice analogy prof.  Nice.  It doesn\u2019t make me feel any better about it though, this place is an utter mad house.  (I\u2019ve tempered my language for a family audience)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh and that CT scan…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here we fucking go.  \u201cSo there were actually two anomalies.  We missed one of the lymph nodes in the middle of your thigh, but I\u2019ve never known one to actually be positive\u201d.  Professor number two the robotic surgeon nods sagely. \u201cNever.\u201d Says prof robot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uhuh.  And the other one?  \u201cWell no idea about that, there shouldn\u2019t be anything there at all, it’s a bit of a mystery.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Excellent stuff, well I\u2019m glad that nobody knows anything at all and that I\u2019m lined up to be an exception to the rule. I can\u2019t wait.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt’s very unusual for you to be sarcastic Mr little\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is it?  I thought that was my thing. Anyway, I’m dying here, I can’t be amazingly positive every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, ultrasounds and aspirations<\/a> for those bad boys, might as well get those done while I\u2019m here…. will keep me busy but I\u2019ll go with the experts, if they think there\u2019s nothing to worry about, fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My robotic surgery has been moved to three weeks time, as I’m not fit enough to do it now. Unless of course another night in Tooting causes me to end it all. But I have seen a potential route to eternal damnation through the 4th floor toilet window if required.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, I’m still here<\/h6>\n\n\n\n

How did night one go?  Well aside from the crying and coughing (not me) and general beeping bullshit – it was shocking.  Like staying in a Russian military training hostel with prison food<\/a>, but less comfortable beds.  Lots of angry young men in the mayor\u2019s patch!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But after some serious doses of antibiotics and a rollercoaster of blood pressure, heart rate and temperature, I definitely feel better.  I\u2019m still not right…  but I’m better, and I even had a lovely walk to M&S food with Jo at lunchtime. I thought it was only fair after she\u2019d made a 6 hour round trip to bring me pants! (Etc)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What did M People sing about?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n

It wasn’t fucking Tooting, that’s for sure. I’m staying another night, and I\u2019ve already been moved to a window bay, which is basically a \u201cpeople\u2019s knighthood\u201d.  Just look at that view…  I\u2019ll be able to hear the gunshots better from here too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\u2019s not like I\u2019m superstitious, but bed 13?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

UPDATE: one of my new roomies has just come back from some pretty drastic dental \/ mouth surgery and he\u2019s desperate to sleep.  He\u2019s already got a couple of drain pipes hanging out of his face but here\u2019s the clincher – if he doesn\u2019t continually exercise his mouth his jaw will clamp shut.  It\u2019s excruciatingly painful watching the nurses waking him up saying paddles paddles and prizing his mouth open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I saw the surgeon do the demonstration.  Well fuck that, I’d prefer someone to take a knife to my cock… Oh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A
A view from the window of bay 13, on a ward at St George’s, University of London. Tooting, London, England.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"A
A view from my hospital bed at St George’s, University of London. Tooting, London, England<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

27th February, St Georges, University of London, Tooting, England. I’m definitely not 100% today \u200bEverything was going so well. Then, life comes at you fast.\u00a0 In today\u2019s episode of little Johnny\u2019s cock cancer journey I start the week on Tuesday. It’s not a bank holiday, I’m just making the best of the conditions. But today, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"hide_page_title":"","_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[18,9,17,12],"class_list":["post-109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-penile-cancer-journal","tag-cellulitis","tag-penile-cancer-surgery","tag-penile-cancer-treatment","tag-st-georges-hospital"],"yoast_head":"\nHell on earth. ><\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"St George's hospital is the largest in the UK, and serves millions of people across south west London. It's busy, always on the telly, and it's an absolute madhouse. 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