{"id":98,"date":"2020-10-14T14:05:34","date_gmt":"2020-10-14T13:05:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/?p=98"},"modified":"2020-12-09T11:28:18","modified_gmt":"2020-12-09T11:28:18","slug":"none-of-this-feels-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/","title":{"rendered":"None of this feels real."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>23rd January, Home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-some-days-are-tougher-than-others\">Some days are tougher than others.<\/h6>\n\n\n\n<p>\u200bI always feel like a bit of a fraud talking about cancer.\u00a0 I think it&#8217;s called imposter syndrome.  I\u2019m happy, and healthy, and fit.  From the outside, I\u2019m the same as I&#8217;ve always been!\u00a0 But all this cancer stuff is becoming a bit of a journey&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The tests came back on Monday bearing news that one of the lymph nodes they took out was positive.\u00a0 Only a couple of cells, nothing really happening, but the <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-information\/all-the-big-questions\/\" target=\"_blank\">seeds were there<\/a>.  Seeds ready to grow and split whenever they feel like it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So on Monday, I\u2019m going back to St Anthony\u2019s in Surrey. I&#8217;m going to have the rest of the nodes in the left side of my groin taken out.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m only spending one night in hospital, but I&#8217;ll have a big gash.  I&#8217;ll probably another month with a drain bottle too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-robots-you-say\">Robots you say?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n<p>The week after that, I\u2019m off to St George\u2019s again.  I will be meeting the robot surgeon that\u2019s going to take out the nodes both sides of my pelvis and see what\u2019s going on there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another night in hospital, and I&#8217;m expecting crazy scenes in South London.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m reliably informed that the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-information\/robotic-surgery\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">robot is so accurate<\/a>, I\u2019ll only need a couple of plasters over the cuts.  The downside of all this, is that the robot probably won\u2019t take any of my helpful suggestions onboard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m expecting to start my radiotherapy at the beginning of March.  I&#8217;m having it at the Royal Marsden in Chelsea now, and I\u2019m notching up another professor!&nbsp; Judging by his picture, he doesn\u2019t look like the type who will approve of my jokes, so he\u2019ll be getting extra.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>23rd January, Home. Some days are tougher than others. \u200bI always feel like a bit of a fraud talking about cancer.\u00a0 I think it&#8217;s called imposter syndrome. I\u2019m happy, and healthy, and fit. From the outside, I\u2019m the same as I&#8217;ve always been!\u00a0 But all this cancer stuff is becoming a bit of a journey&#8230; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"hide_page_title":"","_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[9,17],"class_list":["post-98","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-penile-cancer-journal","tag-penile-cancer-surgery","tag-penile-cancer-treatment"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v16.5 (Yoast SEO v16.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>None of this feels real. &gt;<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Some days, I feel like I suffer with imposter syndrome about cancer. 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